I literally only started this post because I find the title overwhelmingly satisfying to say. Keto Burrito. Nice.
Recently I’ve been a bit lacklustre in my attempts to lose weight, maintain weight, tone up, treat my body right, eat anything not deep-fried and smothered in chocolate… and so on. I have been enjoying a life of fruit cider and home-cooked meals, the latter of which have not necessarily been created with nutritional balance in mind.
So. Screw nutritional balance. Let’s shake things up. Let’s go Keto.
Everything I know about Keto comes from ruled.me, which is a great resource for anyone starting out on their journey. It’s sometimes known as a low-carb, high-fat diet, which is why I essentially just ate chicken, chorizo and cheddar for lunch on Friday (I was up till 3:30am making a wedding cake, please don’t judge me for my lack of meal prep).
Now, I’m sceptical about diets, especially ones with huge restrictions or which take a lot of tracking to stay within their defined ‘limits’. However, the one thing I will say about Keto is that there’s a lot of interesting science* behind it (I draw your attention to this fascinating BBC programme on carbohydrates, long may it remain on iPlayer) and also I get to eat cured meats and cheese. Like… full-fat cheese. I think that makes it worth not being able to have bread, to be honest.
‘But Hattie!’ I hear you cry across the peaks and troughs that separate your beautiful voice and ardent soul from mine — ‘how cans’t thou speak of burritos if thou must starve thyself of carbs?’ Listen, friend… I have my ways.
And those ways… are egg-based.
There are variations on this kind of classic Keto meal (often used as a make-ahead breakfast) all over the internet, but the important thing to remember is that burritos are super adaptable. I haven’t made any particular suggestions on how to make this vegetarian, but the brand new bag of Linda McCartney ‘pulled chicken‘*** in my freezer is begging to be taken for a test run… Plus, there’s always Pinterest.
Anyway, carbs are amazing and I love them with all my wasted little heart, but right now I’m flagging and I need a change of pace. So… Keto Burrito.
Keto Burrito (Gluten-free, Keto-friendly)
Preparation time: 5 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
Medium frying pan; measuring jug; a whisk, should it take your fancy; SILICONE SPATULA (very important, folks); the usual slicing and dicing equipment, come on guys we’ve been over this.
- 2 eggs
- 2 tbsp crème fraîche/sour cream
- 100g leftover chicken, pork, etc. (shredded — I did slow-cooker chicken quarters**** for this but you can get shredded ham hock and everything else under the sun in supermarkets nowadays)
- 1 piece of bacon
- 1/2 an avocado
- 1 tsp chopped chives or other herbs
- Salt & pepper
- Glug of olive oil or real butter
Optional: mayonnaise or sauce of your choosing (e.g. hot sauce/low sugar ketchup)
- Get your pan on a medium heat and shred your meat if it’s not pre-shredded. Put a little olive oil or butter into the pan and cook your bacon until crispy (or to your liking – floppy bacon is obviously only for deviants and those possessed by Satan, but I will ignore that for the sake of our friendship). Set aside, and prep your avocado.
- Carefully slice round the length of the avocado with a good knife, and twist the two halves to release them from their pitted prison. Sorry. Scoop out the flesh and slice/dice however you fancy. Finely chop the herbs.
- If you have too much fat in your pan for comfort, you can soak a bit up with a piece of kitchen paper, but Keto is all about those fats so… your call. Whisk the eggs and the crème fraîche together with a little salt and pepper until smooth, then pour into the pan, tilting slightly to make sure you have an even coating. Cook on medium for 5-7 minutes, carefully lifting the edges with a spatula periodically as you go. You won’t need to flip this — it should cook all the way through just fine. Ease the spatula underneath and around the egg once cooked, releasing it as gently as possible to keep it intact. Pop it on a plate.
- Quickly sauté your shredded meat if you’d like it warmed through, then arrange your burrito. Place the bacon, chicken and avocado in the centre of the egg, and sprinkle over the herbs. Fold the edges in and roll into a burrito, and top with sauce, if using. Consume!
If you find yourself in need of a carb substitute, this does feel substantial, but please don’t expect it to feel or taste like bread. My friends. Egg is not bread.
P.S. I am apparently a little allergic to avocado? Who knew?! Actually, I knew, I just pretended not to.
*Note, dear reader, that I said ‘interesting’, not ‘correct’. I am not a scientist. This is not a peer-reviewed journal. This is the poorly-run blog of a woman whose obsession with cheese actually makes some people a bit uncomfortable, and who will try any diet that actively recommends regular consumption of full-fat cheddar.
**I probably have a VDU tan by this point. Maybe I should start propping my legs up on the desk? At the moment I think they’re still reflecting most forms of visible light.
***This has a surprisingly low net carb value at just 1g per 100g of product. Nice going, Linda.
****Yes, I know I stopped eating chicken due to a deep and soulful connection forged between myself and a wayward hen, but I’ll have morals after I’ve successfully had my wedding day without bursting out of the seams of my dress like a really sexy Incredible Hulk, thanks.