As I write this, Storm Emma is rattling the windows something fierce, and I am considering putting my scarf back on in spite of the heating being turned up to maximum. I’m a fairly good indicator of when the English weather is getting really dire; I’m rarely cold, and often swan about in vest tops while mere mortals layer up their cardigans.
The alcohol blanket helps.
Other than my penguin-like capacity for bearing the cold, I’m not very good at describing myself, so I’ve reached out to my 12 Twitter followers and some close friends to give me a hand. As an English graduate, the idea of description in any capacity fills me with excitement. As an English person, the idea of describing myself positively to complete strangers consumes my waking hours with dread, and I’ve already come out in goosebumps; I’m certain that a cold sweat is imminent. Nonetheless, there have been some crackers so far. Allegedly, I am:
- Innovative and original
(And my personal favourite:)
- “I mean if I was writing it for you I’d just say ‘generally pretty awesome'”
Thanks guys. I mean, this has made me want to dig a hole to the centre of the Earth to live out my days in a state of bewildered embarrassment, but I did ask for this.
So at the very least I have average levels of likeability, since I received responses from three (3!) friends – and really, how many do you need when the ones you’ve got start listing your positive qualities at the slightest provocation? Just lovely. They’re all getting bouquets.**
Having given it some thought, I’d describe myself a little differently. Honesty is the best policy:
- Kitchen tyrant
- Allergic to washing up
- Wino (/vodka-o/”ooh is that a cocktail?”-o)
- A little too obsessed with tinned beans
- Freezer warrior
- Addicted to the reduced section in supermarkets
- Has seen every episode of Jamie’s 15 Minute Meals twice, even though she doesn’t really like Jamie Oliver that much
- Can’t walk in heels but buys them anyway
- Completely incapable of dealing with silences more than three seconds in length
- Loves cheese more than people
- Loves dogs more than people
Okay it was surprisingly easy to put the basic makeup of my personality and drives into a bullet pointed list. Who knew???
You’ll learn more about me as I type up recipes that go off on long tangents (à la Eddie Izzard), take photos with my phone camera because I keep forgetting to charge up my real camera, and continually decry the use of peppers in every vegetarian dish ever invented (my wife is allergic, you heartless fiends).
Come with me; let’s talk beans.
*Ironic really, since my arm hair is standing on end through some misguided notion that it will slow my rapid metamorphosis into a hatsicle.
**No bouquets for my Twitter followers, who have not responded to my desperate plea for help. What are you doing? Real work??? Disgusting.
While most photos here are my own (all the bad ones, just FYI), I do use some free stock photography. You’ll recognise those because they’re actually good.
An overwhelming and heartfelt thank you to Grace Sandford, who is both a wonderful person and a fantastic artist. She designed the ‘This Bunting Bakes’ logos and banners you see dotted around, and I couldn’t be happier. Thanks, Grace!