I’m not counting tinned soup here, so don’t get saucy with me, ladies and gentlefolk. I’ll know if you’re getting saucy with me, mark my words. I have saucy senses.

Just a quick one today, folks – I’m off for a walk with my better half in the jiffiest of jiffies, but I find myself wanting to talk in fevered, passionate undertones about the soup I just made.

It was good soup.

Yes – this evening I wanted soup, and only homemade soup would do. This could have been inconvenient (or rather, it would have been more convenient had my craving been for a tin of soup, of which I have many)… Except that I had a just-opened carton of seasoned passata to use up, and an encyclopaedic knowledge of Food Network recipes. I was therefore able put together the simplest (and tastiest) tomato soup you may ever have put in your face.*

Not sold on seasoned passata? Why are you making your life more difficult? I gave into easy shortcuts long ago, and the grater attachment on my food processor will back me up on this. If you’re sneaky, nobody will ever know you’re lazy.

Now – I present to you a creamy, no fuss, full-flavoured tomato soup. Give it a go, and behold the many wondrous faces of passata.

Easy Peasy Tomato Soup (Vegetarian, Gluten-free)

Serves 2-4
Preparation time: 5 mins
Cooking time: 30 mins

Equipment

Medium saucepan; an immersion (hand) blender** or regular blender; the rare Abyssinian Knife-Handed Hamster, or other appropriate cutting utensils.

Ingredients

• 500g passata with basil
• 1 large carrot
• 1 red onion
• 2 cloves garlic
• 1 vegetable stock cube
• 300ml water
• 3 tbsp double cream
• Salt & pepper
• Splash of oil

Optional

Crusty bread, buttered toast and/or thick slices of cheddar for dipping. Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.

Method

1. Get your saucepan on a medium heat and add the oil, and pop your kettle on. While everything heats up, finely dice your onion and chop the carrot into thin rounds. Peel the garlic, and crush it slightly with the flat of a knife, pressing down with the heel of your hand to apply pressure – you don’t need to chop it. Add the onion to the oil with a little salt & pepper, and stir for around 5 minutes until starting to soften, then add the carrots and crumble in the stock cube. Pour over the water and add the passata, then stir to combine and leave to simmer for 15 minutes.
2. Drop your garlic into the soup and stir again, then leave for another 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Once the time’s up, check that your carrots are soft, then blend everything thoroughly and stir through the double cream. Voila! The easiest goddamn soup I have ever produced.

Noice. Now, go forth and prosper, my friends – as I go forth and stumble around in the dark for my trainers.

Soupy twist!

*I can’t claim to know how many tomato soups you have sampled. Perhaps all you have ever eaten is tomato soup? Maybe you popped out the womb, spoon in hand, and demanded a tin of cream of tomato — I simply do not know.

**A hand blender is also known as a stick or immersion blender, and is not actually used for blending hands. That would be a pretty niche market.